Expat your Ass

I should have blogged a bit before but forgive my brevity.
Here is how you move to Spain.

Find amazing Spaniard.  Fall in love.  I will leave the details up to you.  I suggest not looking.  Consider it a koan.

Once you have that under control, see a lawyer.  He or she will tell you a bunch of crap that validates their retainer.  Take lots of notes about the things he or she tells you to do, and then never speak to him or her again.

There is this thing called the Schengen Pact.  It makes certain things much easier, most of the time.  Come to Europe for 90 days at a stretch.  How long can I be gone before I can return?  This is the question.

I emailed the embassy with specific questions about the Schengen Pact.  I was sent a text link that put the same information into an email.  I know how long I can be here, but how long must I be gone?

So I called and called and called the embassy.  I give up on calling it "lunch."  It was fucking six o´clock and no one answered the phone.

Day two, go to the embassy....
The embassy is closed today.  Come back tomorrow between ten and one.  Ten and one?  This doesn´t even deserve a complaint.  And there is a problem with illegal immigrants.  I think they are standing in line somewhere.