Parallel Paths

I have four different methods of managing my data for my immigration.  I have cute little notebooks that I have yet to sully with information.  I have my database, David, whom I drag around as much as possible to remember everything for me in Spanish.  This post will describe the paperwork needed to get the appointment to get the appointment to get the appointment to marry.  This data comes from a pamphlet from the US embassy that reeks of week-long project by an admin and microsoft publisher.

Marriage Formalities in Spain lists the following documents:
1.  Application form (sounds suspiciously straight forward)
2.  birth certificate (this is really at least three things).  I was proactive enough two months ago to ask to have my birth certificate sent to me from my file in Arizona.  It took about a week to get here and another few days to pick it up, as it was sent registered or certified or something that required the attention of the addressee, David.  At the embassy they innocently informed me that I needed
2a. an apostille stamp in accordance with some 1964 Hague conference thing.   In the US births and such are handled by the state, not the Federal government, so the embassy could not give me this stamp.  In my case I need to send it to Springfield Illinois.  Spoke with Springfield via my pal Kim in Michigan.  They take cash.  (Thank god as I had two dollars floating around in my travel wallet)  They also want a self-addressed stamped envelope.  This was the hard part.  No american postage available in Spain.  I had hoped that DHL/fedex/UPS might be an option for a speedy solution to return postage, but at prices starting at 90€ one way, this went belly up.  Went to the post office and spend 33€ to send my birth certificate, letter requesting apostille stamp, and two dollars, plus 20€ for kim to cover the shipping to priority mail first three aforementioned items PLUS priority  SASE back to Madrid.  Time elapsed, five days.  Two days to Springfield.  Five to seven business days for the lovely ladies in Springfield, and maybe a week or two back to Madrid.  Will keep you posted.  The state of Illinois does not create international documents in Spanish.
2b.  Translation of Hague apostille stamp into Spanish from a certified translator of such things.
3.  Divorce, annulment or death certificate not needed in my case.  Bless you if you need this, see item two, including sub a and sub b, I would guess.  kisses
4.  Proof of freedom to marry.  Fortunately the embassy can do this for me.  There is no document that says you aren´t married.  I think that they should generate one when you are born and attach it to your birth certificate with a little pink or blue paperclip. 
5.  Certificate of residence  This will be tricky.  If an American is not a permanent resident in Spain he can sign an affadavit before an American Consul indicating his place of residence for the past six years.  This would be fun, since I haven´t had one of those since early 2008.  However, I learned a valuable lesson from the Peace Corps:  lie.  I have held a permanent residence in Hawaii since 2001.  Done.  Call the Consul.  I hope she is nice.
6.  Posting of Banns.  A declaration of intent to marry.  A notary is required.
7.  Certificate of Consular Inscription.  A letter with personal data given once I have registered with the embassy.  Registration can be done online.  I haven´t registered yet as I hesitate to create any documentation of my entry date, in case I need to lose my passport at some point. 

4,5,6 and 7 can be done in one (long) day at the embassy.  Once I have the seven documents we can walk into the marriage registration office and make an appointment to marry.

The other path we were considering following is getting my NIE, which is an indentification number for foreigners.  I will try to relearn this and I will consult my Spanish database, David for clarification, and I will post what we know about the NIE later.

Expat your Ass

I should have blogged a bit before but forgive my brevity.
Here is how you move to Spain.

Find amazing Spaniard.  Fall in love.  I will leave the details up to you.  I suggest not looking.  Consider it a koan.

Once you have that under control, see a lawyer.  He or she will tell you a bunch of crap that validates their retainer.  Take lots of notes about the things he or she tells you to do, and then never speak to him or her again.

There is this thing called the Schengen Pact.  It makes certain things much easier, most of the time.  Come to Europe for 90 days at a stretch.  How long can I be gone before I can return?  This is the question.

I emailed the embassy with specific questions about the Schengen Pact.  I was sent a text link that put the same information into an email.  I know how long I can be here, but how long must I be gone?

So I called and called and called the embassy.  I give up on calling it "lunch."  It was fucking six o´clock and no one answered the phone.

Day two, go to the embassy....
The embassy is closed today.  Come back tomorrow between ten and one.  Ten and one?  This doesn´t even deserve a complaint.  And there is a problem with illegal immigrants.  I think they are standing in line somewhere. 

So this is Spain

So I have been in Spain for almost a month now, but more significantly I have endulged myself in a blog.  I have a few issues with these things, which I think run the standard gamut of complaints:  it is self-indulgent, why would anything I might think be of any interest to anyone but myself, I am supposed to hate Tom Cruise for some reason, etc etc.
The reason I am doing it is somewhat theraputic.  I have learned that I have a not so valuable skill of turning the most mundane of daily events into epic phenomona.  If I don´t write something to get these things out of my head then they just pile up on the list of things I would say if I were ever to go up onstage for open mic night.  None of this will be terribly interesting, unless you appreciate overly elaborate sentence structure.  I find that when I meet someone who is a native English speaker, I really lay it on thickly with the clauses, adjectives strewn about haphazardly, and changes in person into fictional characters complete with their own voices.  Perhaps I say to much already, on post one, day one...
Soon to come the saga of the freezer bags, why everything is pork, and why the Spanish ruled the world.